Day 16 Williams/Bradfort Families Therapy Support Netwok

We were all terribly exhausted! None of us had slept or ate much. Grandpa Alan included, he kept saying how we needed to make sure are Dad took care of himself better, as if he would have listened to any one of us or to the doctors for that matter. Emelie secretly knew that if her Dad had decided it was his time then it was o.k. with him. Well, it really wasn't o.k. with her! She also knew it really wasn't o.k. with Aiden or Bella either. It would just tear them all apart. Emelie just knew all the guilt would just eat her alive! It of course wasn't her fault, but she had watched his eating habits her and Janie both and been helpless to do anything. Plus day after day watching him sink farther into depression, and not make an effort to bathe himself, or sometimes not leave the car while Janie and her went grocery shopping, they waited on him hand and foot at home. It was clearly unhealthy for him, killing him even. Nobody did a thing, because everyone had already tryed everything! His , family, everyone, this was just what he was most comfortable with. What he knew to be a "normal" life. Emelie felt far from "normal" most days. Anymore she was either on the verge of balling out in tears, or just hiding from it all! In whatever she could find, reading, writing, arts and crafts, even cooking healthy foods and exercise when she hated both! Anything not to face these awful things going on in her home. Her Grandpa and Dad both seemed ready to just give up, she knew in her heart of hearts however that everyday was an extreme struggle that she herself could never fully appreciate, much less understand. So, she knew that they both loved her and didn't really necessarily want to leave her and her Mother alone. Yet that is exactly what in reality what was happening. It was just so mind and heart numbingly hard, that she just pushed it all aside as hard as she could. It didn't always work though! She prayed very hard to be able to understand why this was meant to happen to her family. There must be a purpose to all of this misery is the only thought that kept her going through most days at all. God was very mysterious though and she probably wouldn't get the answers to these prayers until many years later, when she would have given anything to have the answers now. This wasn't up to her. It really almost drove her mad at times, she knew it did the same to her Mom, though Mom put on a much better poker face about it, and for a longer period of time. It all still hurt. How could she explain that to Aiden and Bella, when she's supposed to be the big brave older sister, she just didn't know. They would have to just understand and that's the end of it. So, they each sat silently in there own little corners of the very large room, handling things in there own way as they had been brought up and raised to do. This method clearly did not work for them well at all! End of Day 16

Day 15 Williams/Bradfort Families Therapy

Emelie and Bella, and Aiden. Begin to write affirmations and throw them into there pails. Then lighting there newly decorated candles they say silent prayers to the candle light. Thomas is back in the hospital again with more liver problems, you see, not meaning to the doctor had over medicated once and accidentally pickled Thoma's liver, now it's not the same, but his stubborn eating habits sure were! So, there he laid in a hospital bed, while today's meeting went on as ususal. Grandpa Alan had not slept well again, he worries about us all so, sometimes he just can't bring himself to rest. He worries how on earth could we hold up without Thomas around. The answer is we couldn't, not for a while anyway, a long while. Things would just go to pot a bit more, than already. I guess Emelie just knew Janie and Bella were right, even though how much she hated to admit it, she did need a close friends shoulder to cry on right now. Yet, the only close friend she'd ever really had now has a husband and children of her own, and would probably just think her problems, somehow smaller or not as pressing as her own. Emelie would never know though, because her fear of rejection kept her from even writing her oldest dearest friend, even a little letter or anything. She knew they led very different lives, with very different values. They grew up in the church together, and Melissa being the smarter at retaining the bible and in sports, just was the straight and narrow one. While Emelie always chose and loved her family more, no matter what. She stopped studying and never even tryed for any school activities. She became a homebody, who barely left the house. Just to make sure old Mom and Pops were doing o.k. still. Even if it wasn't necessary anymore. Some old habits were just too hard to break I guess. So, here she was again, and of course Aiden and Bella both thought her absolutely crazy, just out of her mind. Then who could blame them, they had allowed themselves a real life, to move on and grow. Emelie always tryed to be happy and stayed behind, but she mostly felt left out and angry and just plain stupid. For allowing her own family to us her this way foe so long. How to change it though, after so long now, how to move on and grow up? For good this time. Without making them feel left behind and angry too? There was no way to do this, she could see anyway. Then came the other questions to Emelie, what exactly would she be moving on to? What kind of life with any kind of real meaning? She took anti-depressants that made a sexual life not interesting at all, and knew it would be a near miracle if she could even offer a man a family life, with children of his own. Naturally anyway. She had thought of artificial life many times, well it's not artificial once it's grown in a human body and raised by a loving caring family. She was getting older now though, and the money it would cost to do such a thing is just so unreal. Who on earth would want an old woman with nothing to offer, but a bunch of her old family memories and traditions? No one that's who. She could be wrong, but her faith in men from her past relationships made it pretty impossible to have any kind of real faith in them now anyway. So what else was she to think or feel at this point, unless of course there came someone to prove her wrong, that was pretty much her points of view so far. As for Bella she has always been the much more confident all American girl, and no doubt some lucky young man well see that and fall head over heels in love. They were raised as sisters yet really they couldn't be any more different as night and day were! Aiden the middle child, yet only son was not only spoiled rotten, yet at the same time as a young man had very confused issues about when it came to woman and who could really blame him growing up between these two young woman. Bella refused to see it this way of course, daubing it sexist as Aiden had, had everything just passed to him. Yet, Emelie clearly saw the truth Aiden had worked very hard for everything he had, just as Bella had! Bella seemed more like the middle child, left out these days than any of them, which was so very hard for Emelie to grasp! Seeing as Bella had always been the in control one, not anymore it seemed. It just made Emelie more depressed , if an independent woman like her sister couldn't make it in the world, what chance in hell did she ever have! Now they listened to the sounds of Shakira's "No" one of Emelie's CD's. As they cleaned up the meeting room, in great hopes that Mom and Pops wouldn't have to be in the hospital much longer, and would be joining them again with Grabdpa Alan. Emelie made sure Grandpa Alan was well cared for, until they returned. End of Day 15

Day 14 Williams/Bradfort Family Support Therapy

Today they sat at the big meeting table, were Emelie had sat supplies such as a spa sound machine, and six bottles of spa therapy lotions, and a foot soak with soaking salts and bombs, and six bags full of detox patches for there feet. She quickly put all this away in a large closet on the other end of the room for another meeting. They all switched projects today, Dad, Grandpa Alan, and Bella, all started decorating candles and affirmation pails, while Mom, Emelie, and Aiden, all took to burning a scene to a slab of wood. They listened to the sounds of Pinks "So What"Bella's music. Grandpa Alan joking around again, This is how we always know he's having one of his good days. So it's very nice for us all. He says, "well I never did think I'd turn out to be such a sissy making womanly like decorations! HA! HA! We all laughed with him, knowing he was just teasing mostly. Grandpa Alan always prided himself in a few things, being the child of farming immigrants from Finland, having served his country in the army, and his all around knowledge of the best ways to run, teach, and discipline a family properly. Yes this did include teaching and disciplining ones wife as well. Which really explained why for the last maybe 45 years of there marriage, before cancer and other complications took the best of her, Grandma and Grandpa Williams had lived together as a divorced couple. She still kept his name, yet it was clear that they only stayed together for appearances and for the lesson to there children and grandchildren that marriage did indeed still mean something to them. We hardly ever saw them argue either growing up, us grandkids anyway, they must have fought out all the real passionate fights when we were younger, or they just finally decided to get along, and that's that. Emelie thought,"I don't know about all the other grand kids, but there relationship with each other did teach me something, a few things actually. Don't ever marry a person unless you know you can get along with them first! Also, don't stay with them just for the children's sake, it's not fair to you or the other person. Yet, I think my parents marriage taught me even more still, you see ever since I can remember the fights have been there, only now there less frequent, and under the surface, yet they can boil to the surface at any given moment. Fights about spending too much money, and they'll never get ahead! Fights about all the men Mom had cheated on Dad with even a few of his close friends, I should ex-friends. Fights about there past when us kids were just babies, and I guess they were the couple who had all the good parties in the neighborhood, with you know all the best contacts for some good pot or maybe even a little cocaine. They were both so lucky that they stopped living that way over 20 years ago, since most of there "friends" from those days are either in prison, dead from an overdose, divorced, or just wish they were dead. They are also lucky that those early years didn't effect there 3 small children that much. Or did they? I mean take myself the little runaway, o.k. so I was in my 20's still I ran off with two guys I barely knew to California, to live the exciting homeless life. It was a nightmare for over three years! They barely seemed to try to even talk to me back home, I guess that was the hardest part to take just one big slap in the face after another. It was as if they just gave up all hope for me at all. Then I met another guy, this one allot older than me older than my Dad. But he still worked and with are jobs combined we had hotel rooms, instead of sleeping out in the streets. He started getting crazy on me though, hitting me, and taking all my pay check money from me and hiding it somewhere. So I left him, to go live with my little brother Aiden and his wife Winnie for a while, but I was such a third wheel there. So, I came back home which only seems right now. With Dad and Grandpa both needing help, Mom working, she can't do it all, so I help with housework and filling oxygen tanks, some light cooking. Stuff like that, and I sometimes go to Doctors appointments. Mom seems to balance work and home allot better than I do. I don't want to be working as a nurses aide all day, and then come home and do the exact same thing. So, I leave allot of the more nursing stuff to Mom, so I feel like I'm at home when I'm at home, and at work when I'm at work, I guess I just need that separation there more than she does, I don't know. She may need it too, you see are Ms. Janie has always adored the thought of playing the marter so it's just so hard to tell really. Then there's Aiden who puts it all so neatly tucked away in the past, like putting away an old high school letterman's jacket in his closet. He knows he'll probably never were it much, yet it's good to have hanging around to show someone sometime, hey, this was a part of me, back when . I believe this is what are parents are like for him. Something to ground and root him in place so he won't get too out of control, because believe me he has had his wild child days too. But we don't need to get into all that. He has clearly moved on and grown allot, so has Winnie too. They really have quite a bit in common. Bella, however seems to have everything all figured out, her head squarely on her shoulders, and doesn't need much help from anyone. Yet she does love her family in her own way. She also seems to act a little to much of a person up on her high horse around us sometimes. She's had all the college education, and now has a nice desk job with the company that helped send her to college. She's really done very good for herself, her and Aiden both. Yet Emelie seems a bit left out in this aspect, she really has nobody to blame but herself. She just wants a quiet simple life, very low stress. Not to many worries. Caring for the elderly, is just like being the grandchild that's too scared to leave home on there own sometimes, but it's the sacrifice she's more than willing to make, to keep some sense of peace and quiet in her own personal space at home. That's what matters most to her peace of mind, low stress. It just seems to work here for her, so why even think of leaving. They now have finished there projects and are cleaning up the meeting room. While listening to Guns-N-Roses "November Rain" one of Thoma's music Cd's. End Day 14

Day 13 of 365 days Family Therapy Williams/Bradfort families Network

Emelie started the meeting with her own music a Pussycat Dolls CD playing "Halo" one of her favorite songs. She started putting more and more activity stuff out in the room and out in the table. Besides all of the molding clay and affirmation cards, the hitting clown, the growing slowly yet surely sunflowers and there window totem animals, and the cookie jar full of great yummy cookies. She now added , also to all of the drawings and paintings on the "Wall of Healing" a croquet set for those interested in a little non competitive lighthearted game. Also she laid out a bag full of large white candles, for them to decorate with paint and jewels a meditation candle of there own. Then six glue guns and five bags of glue sticks. To glue the bags full of little jewels to the candles. Then she unloaded a bag full of flat pieces of wood and six wood burning tools, each tool has six tips and a handy stand, and is able to cut elegant, lacy images into the wood, or whatever else you wish with the different tip attachments. Then she laid six one gallon containers, clear enough to see completely through them, except for the metal lid rim, and thin metal handle, shaped just like a paint bucket. Then the five bags of different ideas, for each person to decorate his or hers own bucket. In which you were to stuff full of all of your bad, sad, hurt,angry, or fearful feelings and emotions. Then they could take one out each day, read it to yourself or someone else if you want to, then watch as it burns away forever into the fire place, never to return. After 15 minutes she changed the music, to the Frey "How to save a Life" one of Aiden's CD'S. They all looked at the table, and sat down each choosing the one activity they would start working on for today. Well Dad and Grandpa Alan both being retired from carpentry and as a home inspector. They choose to burn onto the slabs of wood, as did Bella. Mom and Emelie, and even Aiden all choose to decorate there meditation candles, and if there was time to start in on the affirmation pails. Emelie switched CD's to Donna Summers "Love to Love You Baby" one of Janie's music. As they burned artful scenes onto wood, and hot glue gunned jewels into painted designs on the meditation candles. They also sipped more of Winnie's good apple cider. Grandpa Alan as usual whispered something funny to Bella, Bella told Aiden, Aiden told Janie, who told Emelie, then they were all laughing about it as they decorated and listened to now Thomas's Foreigner CD "That Was Yesterday". Grandpa Alan had said, so this is what it is like to be part of a sewing circle! As they were all finishing there projects, the apple cider, and the no-bake cookies, they cleaned up there messes, and put there finished projects on a multi-leveled rolling table Emelie had brought into the room for the projects. They looked good enough Grandpa Alan had said, making them all laugh a bit again. He really just loved to tease anybody, especially if he could pick some kind of argument with them, it just somehow made him feel more alive, more a part of things happening around him. Were Thomas seemed most of the time more passive aggresive, with a very big heart, yet very gaurded not to let others take advantage of it, since years past his kindness has been taken as a weakness. Far from it, it's part of his strength! They carved a very big and beautiful home built on a hill side, and a small home with a massive flower and vegitable garden. Then one filled with just symbols of lace and elegant lettering, they all knew was Bella's. Aiden painted eternity symbols in bright blue all over the white candle, which he then added white and teal and silver jewels to. Janie painted her candle with big bright yellow flowers all over and more different shades of yellow jewels, Emelie painted hers with light peach and dusty blue little flowers everywhere with lots of silver and gold gems. Aiden was the only one to finish his affirmation pail completely completely covered in bright blue papers with more eternity symbols everywhere. Emelie and Janie sat there pails aside to finish during another meeting. They closed this meeting listening to Grandpa Alan's Gene Autry CD "Thirty-Two Feet and Eight Little Tails." End of Day 13

Day 12 Williams/Bradfort Family Support Therapy Network

Emelies therapy exercises for letting family hurt and angry emotions go under the bridge for good! No resurfacing aloud! There were only 3 issues of these kind aloud to deal with per meeting however, since the emotional severity of them could often cause a total nervous breakdown of any one of them! First she sat down with all six of them including herself, in that six of course. She explained all of the rules of this exercise, including the fact that today they were just addressing them by saying them out loud, there was to be no physical action taken on these 3 issues, or any mention of the 3 issues outside of the sacred room. Now after agreeing to the rules, they were all handed a note card on which they were to write down these 3 issues of hurt or anger they felt within the family. Bella volunteered to go first, she read off her card," number one, I feel feelings of hurt and anger about some decisons concerning Emelies living situation with all of you still, while the rest of us are out working are tails off to barely squeak by! Number two, I also hurt that family members don't think that I understand there disabilities properly, when I myself cope rather well with battles of my own everyday, that nobody seems to care to address. I may not want to address others in return because of this. Number three, o.k. I may think that some family members are not devoting there knowledge or finances properly to help the family, and knowing that I don't as well, does not stop me from being upset about it, since it kind of makes it look as though they are taking advantage of others disabilities in one way or another. Which I truly do not think is there intention on purpose, yet it is in fact taking place, what actions should those persons take to change this fact? Then Bella sat down. Leaving some more angry and hurt, and some wondering what they might do to try and better the situations. Then Aiden stood up and read from his card, " number one my feels on Emelie living with Mom and Dad are just the opposite of that of Bella's, some people need more support for a longer period of time, every person is different, number two Winnie would love to join in the meetings, yet she is going through some very hard stuff with her folks and can't manage emotionally to go through it twice with her family and mine both at the same time, I am not a part of her family issues as well this way we leave ourselves with less stress and burden, at this time we both agree it's for the best for everyone involved. Number 3 I do not believe that Bella can understand some of what her family members go through on a daily basis since she herself has never attended a family therapy session at all until now that is, which there is no doctor present so I'm not sure if it's clinically therapy or not. Then Emelie stood and read, Number one I feel a little hurt and angry with the whole control aspect of my living situation as if I have absolutely no say in the matter, it seems. Number two, I do feel Bella does understand her families disabilities alot more than she lets on, yet is too afraid she may hurt someone further, or push them back into a bad place of regression to let on too much just hoe much she does understand. Number 3, I do feel left behind at times, yet at other times I am brought back to the reality of how totally unprepared I am to move forward, as of yet anyway. Then, Janie stood to read her card,"number one, I wish that really my grown children would just, grow up already! Don't try to understand each others disabilities so much, because unless you are that person, you never will. Just love and care for each other and accept each other for the unique and sensitive, beautiful people that I know you all to be. Number two, don't worry so much about Dad and Grandpa's health issues, I know it's hard not to, believe me of all people I know this, but it doesn't help them to see you tearing each other apart about it all, it just helps make them feel even worse, that's all it does! Number 3, I think it's absolutely great how Aiden and Winnie are handling there families issues, it's very mature, and I'm very proud of them both for it! Thomas read his card, number one. So, besides struggling everyday with severe health issues, as I do, every day is alot easier and not so damned overwhelming, and well hell, I'll just say it. Mind numbingly scary for me! Knowing each and every day I can come home from another doctors appointment with little to no hope. To find my 3 loving, smart, and beautiful children, trying there damnedest to make things less difficult for me in one way or another. I am a very blessed man, and feel so loved and couldn't ask for a better family in a million years, your all absolutely great in your own ways, don't ever change for anyone, ever! Number 2, I do believe that some of are activities are helpful, however I do believe that we need more of them and more effective ones to alleviate depressions and anxieties of daily life today. Number 3 I really appreciate all of the music's played not just mine, and that's the truth , so don't argue over that! HA! HA! Then Grandpa Alan stood and read his card. Number 1, I believe some things should be left unsaid to maintain a good relationship with a loved one, and not hurt there feelings too much as to make them want to avoid you all together, forever. Number 2 I believe some activities are helping too, but we do need more of them, so we don't get tired of doing the same old same old. Number 3 some people need to grow a bit of a thicker skin in this family, sometimes a joke or teasing is just for fun and not meant to make fun of or attack that person in any way, it's said out of caring not to be hurtful. So don't take it that way, please. So as they had agreed they were just to say them, actually addressing how to make these issues better will not be addressed until next week. When they would address another 3 issues. So Emelie put each persons card filed under there names into a file folder, until next week, when she would ask the family there opinions on how to best deal with each issue best. Then they would vote on this just like a working government would. As they wrapped up today's family therapy meeting, they all softly sang along to Rihanna's " Umberlla", another one of Bell's CDs. End of Day 12

Day 11 Williams/Bradfort Family Therapy

Emelie decided they were slacking on the "therapy" part of the meetings, and just using all their time for too much leisure and fun activities. Instead of dealing with all the hurt and angry feelings. So, her and Bella worked out a plan called the "aggression release" they brought in a funny looking blow up clown, with a large blow-up hitting stick, and a pair of boxing gloves. While they stood in line to take turns hitting the clown, they all sang along to Sara McLaughlin's "What if God was One of Us" C.D. Some of Emelie's music. Then there was more painting at the table with Grandpa Alan, Aiden, and Bella. While Emelie, Thomas, and Janie, all threw very hurt or angry feelings into the small fireplace, in the corner. They watched them burn away into nothingness, and felt peaceful as they sipped on apple cider Aiden's wife Winnie had sent in with Aiden. She was always way too busy to stay, she said. They invited her in almost every day. Emelie had also set mounds of clay by there now sprouting little sun flowers, for them to sit and create whatever they wish. They were now listening to Cindy Loper "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" one of Bella's C.D.'s. Grandpa drew, large fields of wheat growing with a big forest of trees behind it. Aiden drew many different types of continents of the world, like the old maps of the world all flat. Bella drew ten different mannequins all with different outfits on, and different shoes, handbags, and other fashion accesories. Emelie proudly pinned them on" the healing wall" with every ones drawings. She said how good they all were, and how they all seemed to express a little part of each person who drew them. They now all sat at the table and started molding the clay into objects, as Emelie changed the music to Cher's "Halfbreed" which they all knew was Janie's and they all giggled a little bit. Thomas formed a small dart board with little matching darts, Aiden made a set of dice, Grandpa made a rifle and a fishing rod, Emelie made a necklace with nice little charms, that she had written on each charm, affirmation, happiness, hope, peace, kindness, compassion, and Bella made a basket holding tiny little flowers inside. All made of clay, they looked very nice somehow on the big old work table. As they cleaned up the room they listened to Thomas's Foreigner CD and" Hot Blooded" played. Emelie couldn't help but feel as though they were on a path to some real healing therapy somehow. She felt much hope bubbling inside for the next few days. Even if it was going to be very hard, they just all had to try. End of Day 11

Day 10 Williams/ Bradfort Family Support Network Therapy

So, Emelie and Bella had done a little grocery shopping after yesterdays meeting and as they put in today's CD of Patsy Cline, they both giggle knowing it's Grandpa Alan's CD and Mom will just love it! They lay on the big table a tray in front of all 6 place sittings, and fill that tray with enough ingredients for each person to make his or hers own dozen cookies. It's a no-bake recipe, so no kitchen necessary, which is wonderful! They don't have to leave there sacred place. So they lay down the oatmeal and cocoa powder and butter, as singing softly to" Crazy". This song always made Emelie think of her own mental instabilities, and kind of triggered an instant little migraine in Bella. Bella, knowing that her Mother and sister gave into feeling sorry for themselves way too easily. About not being mentally" normal" what ever that meant anyway. When Bella herself did see some abnormalities, but not as many as she'd seen in other people in her life. Emelie and Janie were both way too hard on themselves, in Bella's opinion anyway. Yet, it's easy to say and feel these ways as Bella does, when you yourself are not suffering from them. As both Janie, Emelie, and Aiden, indeed were. They were all clinically diagnosed and saw there Doctors on a regular basis to make sure the medications they took worked well enough to keep them a functioning member of there community. Most of the time it felt however that the pills didn't help as much, as a close loved one who tried to put them self in your shoes, or identify with you at some small level. Just to be a bit more understanding and compassionate about it all. They all knew about one an others disabilities, yet they were not all compassionate at times. Most of the time they were just totally indifferent and uncaring. This not only hurt a great deal, yet made you feel even more alone and scared. So, this room tends to take away a bit of that loneliness and fear, and let in the laughter and togetherness. The hope here is to move this into everyday living, not just keep it all in this wonderful place. To be able to share it out more openly. Without the fear of rejection, or being manipulated into thinking one understands and cares. When really they are just placating you, so they may tolerate having you around. Emelie was starting to get the feeling that this wasn't just a hope and prayer of hers, yet also of Bella's too, and Janies, and Aiden's and Thoma's. The only one very hard to read was Grandpa Alan. He seemed too complacent, as long as they all got along and were happy, he didn't matter anymore. Which of course was just nonsense! Well, everyone was very excited to put together there very own batch of no-bake cookies, they each were mixing the ingredients together, in there very own mixing bowls. When Emelie switched CD'c to listen to Metallica's "Everywhere I Roam" clearly Aiden's music. Then they added spoons full of cookie dough to waxed cookie pans. To sit covered until tomorrow, when they would all enjoy the cookies for days, there were to be 6 batches of a dozen cookies made, now that's alot of snackin'! Well, that's it for today. End of Day 10

Day 9 William/ Bradfort Family Therapy Support Network

Emelie and Bella, were both pleased to see everyone brought there favorite CD of music into the meeting. They were all setting at the meeting table, were now in the center stood 6 pots, with soil and freshly planted seedlings inside. So, Emelie stood and just grabbed a random CD from the little pile on the table. She read it said ZZ tops greatest hits, she grinned knowing it was Dads. As they all listened to the sounds of " She's Got Legs", Bella made up famous persons on slips of paper. They placed them all in a hat, then they all drew from the hat one slip of paper. It was sticky note paper, so they just put it on there forehead and there it stuck. Emelie's forehead read- Madonna, Bella's forehead read- Jesus, Aiden's forehead read- President Obama, Janie's forehead read- Micheal Jackson, Thoma's forehead read- Garth Brooks, Alan's forehead read- President George Bush. First Janie started out " am I a musician?"" Yes!!" They all told her. Then she asked "am I a dead musician?" " Yes!" They all said again. Still not knowing who she was. They passed her and Thomas asked," am I a singer?"" Yes!!" They all said. Amazingly Thomas whispers, "Garth Brooks?" Yes! They all laugh in amazement, Janie too. " You see, she says you never know who will guess right and when, it is so fun!" Then Aiden always the most political, and a history buff asks," am I a United Sates President?" " Yes." They all say. Looking at Grandpa, they all can't help but giggle a little bit, giving Grandpa Alan a bit of a clue as to who he is. Emelie and Bella both, laugh when they look at each others foreheads, and so does everyone else. Then Aiden asks" am I a recent president?" They all say, "yes" . He softly says, am I President" Obama?" " Yes!" They all laugh , including Aiden. They laugh even more so when they look at Grandpa Alan's forehead. Alan asks, "am I a President?" " Yes." They all say. "A recent president?"" Yes." " Am I George Bush?" " Which one?!" They all about laugh out at the same time. " The second one, the son," Grandpa Alan asks. " Yes!" They all yell, laughing still more, as they turn to look at Emelie and Bella. Staring at each others foreheads, Bella asks "am I a rock star?" Then they all stop laughing and say," yes! " Emelie asks" am I a woman" "They say yes!" She says "am I Madonna?" " Yes! You are!" They all laugh more. Bella asks, "am I a religious figure?" " Yes!" They all say. She says," am I Jesus?" They all laugh again saying, yes!" Then Janie finally guesses right! " Am I Micheal Jackson?" Yes! You! Are! There all roaring with laughter, at this. Of course, Emelie has been timing the ZZ Top music for 15 minutes, and has already put in Whitney Houston, "I will always live you", plays. One of Bella's CD's as they begin to clean up the meeting room. This was a very fun session of therapy, they both agree sometimes laughter can be the best medicine. End of Day 9

Day 4 Williams/ Bradfort Family Therapy Support Network

Emelie has been working from sun up till noon all four days now with Bella, to organize their family activities. There meetings now last from 1:00p.m. until 1:45p.m. Then it's clean up time, and everyone goes his or her own way. Of course Brother Aiden goes home to his wife and the in laws family owned business of selling flooring materials and beds. Bella's off to her new desk job at a high Tech. Company. She's always super busy too. Mom Janie works part time at the local elderly home, then home to care for, Thomas and Alan Williams. With the asist. of Emelie Bradfort. Emelie having worked at the Care Home For The Elderly also understands that, it is very hard for close family members to deal with a family members disability or to except there limitations. Her also being a Bradfort and not a Williams, puts her in a position to distance herself somewhat from those sort of denials and except more that this is really all these two men are capable of doing right now. For Aiden and Bella it's alot more emotional understandably. It's pretty hard on there Mother Janie, as well. Yet, if Emelie does not carefully distance herself emotionally, there is the possibility of it becoming to much for her to bare any longer, so this distance she can and must maintain, she has decided. It may make her seem cruel or unfeeling, yet looks can be very deceiving, she is far from unfeeling! Just the opposite she feels too much, so to keep her emotions in check, has become the best method for coping with her current environment. Now she is looking for work outside the home, as a Home Care Provider. Emelie just hopes that her feelings do not betray her and arise when caring for a stranger, which she fears is a possibility. She just must stay more professional! So, that is Emelie's struggle for probably the next week or two maybe even more who knows. She will do her very best to overcome this barrier it seems to doing what she really loves and enjoys. Caring for those who are disabled , as does her Mother Janie. Janie has her own barrier's too, with her Bipolar disorder. Thinking the worst first is a huge problem, and constantly having to wind herself up, with low amounts of energy is a problem for her and Emelie both. A general lack of interest or motivation. As Bella and Aiden, seem to be just the opposite. Yet here again looks are deceiving, since Bella is trying to overcome severe issues with insecurities stemming from her past, and also has weight issues a little like her Father Thomas. She takes prescribed meds. for her extreme pains with arthritis and migraines both. Which has been enough to keep her a functioning member of the community for over five years now. There Brother Aiden takes his meds. for Bipolar disorder, and is much like his Mother in this aspect. Today's group activities are to write one thing that they are thankful for in there life today, then to use the watercolor paints and art paper that Emelie has supplied them all with. To draw or paint a seen depicting how this thing they are thankful for makes them feel today. Then they will all hang these on a board on the wall, as a physical reminder, that when things feel reel awful and they just can't cope that day. At least they still have this one feeling. They are thankful for hanging up there on the wall. Emelie's drawing- A picture of her floating in a big hot air balloon in front of her favorite waterfalls. Bella's drawing- A picture of her sun bathing, with a nice man next to her. Aiden's drawing- A picture of him sitting with his wife alone and talking. Janie's drawing- A picture of her sun bathing on a beach, drink in hand. Thomas's drawing- A picture of each family member around him supporting him no matter what! Alan's drawing- Peaceful moments of him resting by the fireplace. This concludes todays meeting of Day4 Family Support Network

Day 3 Williams/ Bradfort Family Therapy Support Network

For this days session of Support Network Therapy. Emelie had planned to do small very simple stretches from Yoga, and some breathing exercises. Plus, an activity were you put your bad feelings in the fire place therapy. Were each member of the family would write down there hurt or bad feelings, and watch them burn away into ashes until they no longer existed. Emelie really had some hidden hopes that this may take away some bad hurtful memories of the past for all of them. Yet her main focus somehow always seemed to be more on her relationship with her sister Bella. This concerned her the most of all. Emelie knew that she always somehow never quite measured up to Bella's standards of how an elder sister should behave or should be living her life. Yet in return at times Emelie herself was also caught judging her little sister too hard, thinking she should be dating and partying more, just living it up out in the young singles world more often than she was. You see they all lived in a very small town, were everybody knew everyone and all of there business. That maybe you didn't even want to know, yet did anyway. So Bella was a workaholic, and a know it all. Sort of person. Were Emelie was a lot more laid back and believed each moment is an opportunity to learn something knew in this life. They were complete Polar opposites, but not in the fun special way were you always get along, but more in the way that your just annoyed that the other person is never just glad to be on your side of something! End of sessions for Day 3

Day 2 The Williams/ Bradfort family Therapy

Emelie and Bella were both just sort of surprised when not only did there Brother Aiden stay for the entire 20 minutes, he also stayed after the meeting to help clean up. All the puzzle pieces, and and painting supplies, then put away decks of affirmation cards. Mom and Dad Williams stayed the 20 minutes too, yet seemed ready to race away after that with poor old Grandpa, who by then of course was fast asleep. Aiden then surprised his sisters even further by saying, " I don't think we'll see any results from Grandpa, Dad, and Mom until they can stay longer and participate with us more. They all agreed on this, which surprised all three of them, they couldn't remember the last time they all agreed on anything. First they had fought over Emelie living back home with Mom, Dad, and Grandpa. Then they had fought over Aiden and Bella being too wrapped up in there own little worlds, and not seeing what was happening to their own parents. Then Bella started pointing fingers at Emelie and Janie as if everything were there fault! Grandpa and Dad seemed as though nothing could break through to them. They were in the right and no one could or would change there minds. Of course Emelie and Janie were in no position to argue this, so it was left up to the rest of the family to help them see the light. You see, yes there health was poor, but Dad wasn't nearly as bad off as Grandpa's, meaning it was treatable. Grandpa must endure with his disabilities until he went to see his maker. So, Thomas Williams must lose 150 pounds before the doctor would even think of surgery for his heart valve, and also some talk of a gastric bipass, to help in loosing this weight took place. Well Thomas knew his insurance wouldn't cover the bi-pass, and it would take alot to loose the weight on his own. He was caught between a rock and a hard place. He was a strict meat and potatoes man, and couldn't even eat barely one vegetable. Big breakfasts of eggs, biscuits and gravy, sausage, and so on. He loved his food, as did much of his family. Emelie attempted to cook healthy meals, yet ended up just eating them herself. Since Thomas always saw this as some kind of insult, like Emelie was saying his food wasn't good enough for her. That just wasn't the case though, she just wanted very much to see her Dad healthier and happier again, and this was her attempt at helping. He just never would see it from Emelie's point of view as his Daughter, only from his point of view. That it couldn't possible have anything to do with the way in which he ate at all. Janie and Emelie and even old Grandpa Williams, were all about at there wits end, as to what to do with Thomas's health issues. As far as they could see, as much as they all loved and cared for him. You just can't help a person, unless they are ready to help them self. This was a hard fact of life they all lived with each day, yet there were still at least a couple days out of a week, were he almost seemed to lighten up about getting healthier, and then just as fast he would go back into that dark depressive place and hide and be angry. Blaming anything or anyone else for his condition, anyone but himself of course. Then there was the issues of oxygen use, we all knew Grandpa needed it to live, then Dad needed it too. Grandpa from all his years of smoking, and Dad from a worsening bad case of asthma he'd had since he was a kid. Then all the weight gain and his bad heart, he just couldn't breath either, without oxygen that is. So, with some asist. of Janie and Emelie. There oxygen tanks stayed filled and there urinals emptied. You see Janie and Emelie were also Certified CNA's, or Nurses Aides. They both know how to care for the disabled, and this he elderly and have a few years expierence under there belts. Yet still Thomas Williams was just too set in his ways to listen to either one of them for advice, not even to listen to his son and daughters advice, Aiden and Bella. This really confused Emelie alot! You see she had always known Aiden and Bella to be the favorite of the family since she was a small child, so for anyone not to do something to make them both happy, it just made no sense to her at all. Well this was just a battle they were all loosing together. Plus the other issue of Grand children, which just sent them all into some state of depression or another. You see Aiden's wife wasn't able to have a baby, without some very hard surgeries. Then the same with Emelie. Bella had suffered a miscarriage and wasn't sure if medically the same thing would happen again next time too, if she tried. So, Grandchildren were just not in the cards, for the time being anyway. Even though they all knew Aiden and his wife Winnie were both very ready to be parents. Emelie was just not ready in any way. Bella would like to be but not yet. Well, these things they all knew about each other for some time now. It's the sadness of everything, the bad economy, soldiers still at war. The news filled with so much hardship. Who could be anything but a little bit helpless, and just plain old sad. Then Emelie being the eldest and a bit knowledgeable herself on group sessions as a form of therapy. Since she herself had attended a few in another dark little corner of her life when she had been, badly abused, and beaten by her ex-boyfriend. Then left him to live back with her family. She found that she was truly a caregiver at heart, and that is why it was so easy for a person to take her for granted, and abuse her even, if she didn't put a stop to it at once! So we end are family therapy meeting at knowing the family a bit better. There's sure to be more to come tomorrow.